I took the day off in order to help my girlfriend move this afternoon, so for the past 45 minutes I've been chugging coffee, manning my post on the couch, and intently watching The Price Is Right.
I'm a junkie for this show. My college years are somewhat hazy, but I believe I even planned my college class schedule around Bob Barker's work schedule. Once, my mother scolded my brother and me for screaming profanities at the television during The Price Is Right. He was 20 years old at the time. I was 23. Like I said, I'm a junkie.
The show really is a tremendous outlet for suppressed anger. It sure beats punching a pillow or, you know, exercising. In fact, I think more of us should spend time yelling at frat boys, heavy middle-aged black women, old people, perky college girls, and random military members on leave -- the only contestants allowed in the TPIR studio, apparently. This upsets me because I've clearly missed my window of opportunity. I'm an almost-thirty year old white guy, eight years out of college. I'll have to wait at least 30 more years to be on the show. While I'm sure Bob will still be hosting, it's a little creepy that the Barker Beauties I'll inevitably trying to feel up in the year 2035 aren't even born yet.
Okay, I just barked at a U.S. Navy guy because he had the last bid, and ended up bidding $20 UNDER the highest bid instead of just bidding one dollar more like any other normal person would have. I yelled that he was too dumb to defend my country. I think I need to go outside now.
