(With some apology to some enlightened heterosexuals.)
Like the Neanderthal, dragging his knuckles through the primordial murk is the Pentecostal, Christ Worshiping, Beer Drinking, Nascar Loving, Republican Voting throwback from evolution: The Average White Heterosexual Male. Yes, after many a long struggle that we, the Homosexual, have struggled with, dragging these missing links forward to Western Civilization with art, music, literature and science; they remain trying to pull us back. They want to bring us back to an existence in some god forsaking trailer park, watching bland movies and television shows about the bible and huntin'.
Yea, my brethren! The time has come to declare the Heterosexual obsolete! The time has come, with genetic counseling and science to cut the cord on this most odious wretch!
Why do we need them? Breeding? Hah! With gay men willing to be sperm donors and lesbians willing to bear children, with the simple application of a turkey baster and a beaker, we can breed on our own! With genetics, we can weed out the trash and get rid of this most recessive primitive gene. If we could paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and come up with beautiful poetry about love of the feminine form, what do we need them for?
All they do is spread hate and filth. They rape and destroy our planet in the name of profit. They raise children to be dumber than the generation before. Each decade, they bring us closer to nuclear war and other global calamities. So why put up with them?
They can hardly cook worth a damn. They don't know anything about art and they don't want to know anything about science, except how they can be most hateful with it. They believe that some old man in the sky is a White Conservative Christian who Votes Republican. I swear, if their IQ's got any lower, we could water them!
Sure, some of them can be handsome to look at but at what cost? Believe me, we are better off in the long run to just breed them out of existence.
Imagine a kinder and gentler world, a world of taste and beauty. Imagine a world free of polyester, paintings of dogs playing poker on black velvet, Toby Keith and tacky vinyl handbags that ask "What Would Jesus Do?" Honey, I can tell you what he wouldn't do! Shop at WalMart!
What are we waiting for? Let's just do it! Let's give evolution a much needed boost so we can speed up our future development. Let's help the human race be all it could be!
*As originally posted on The Life of Pinky Bear!
