Free Milk, or a Cow? Consumer guide w/ bonus tip.

One often hears debates over the merits of buying a cow versus getting free milk. Well, I'd like to give a little perspective to some of you would-be farmers and dairy consumers.
Free milk is, of course, wonderful, but be aware that you, as a consumer, do not have any exclusive rights to the product, which may be distributed publicly or not as the before mentioned cow sees fit. So,if you are offended by the potential of others sharing your dairy delights, you may want to look into investing in your own private cow. (And, BTW, it's not really free.)
Even if you do "buy the cow", however, you do not actually own it. You are merely contracting for distribution rights. That is, the cow agrees not to supply dairy products to any other other party for the duration of the contract. (This also means that you agree not to receive said products from any other source.) You retain the rights to any milk produced, but you can not force production. Therefor, please be aware that you are not entitled to any specific amount of milk, merely that you are entitled to any milk that is produced (much as if you had bought the mineral rights to a piece of land that may or may not contain such resources). Violations of the contract by either party may lead to renegotiation or severance.
In either case, the cow may increase or decrease milk production dependant on factors that may or may not be within the scope of your (or her) control. The cow, being an independant producer, at all times (in perpetuity) retains the right to limit and/or halt milk production, at any time, with or without prior notice.
And a tip for potential hog farmers: There is really no need to buy a whole pig just to get a little sausage.